IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…

Opening Credits: Landslide – Smashing Pumpkins

and I saw my reflection in a snow covered hill until a landslide brought it down.

Waking Up: Awake and Alive – Skillet

First Day at School: Velvet Revolver – Big Machine

all that first class drug shit brings me down, down down

Falling in Love: Jay Z – Hard Knock Life (yeah that fits right now)

Breaking Up: Thousand Foot Crutch – Breathe You In

Prom: Jason Mraz – O. Lover

Life is Good: Jason Mraz – Clockwatching (appropriate and most loved song)

Mental Breakdown: SuperChic[k] – Stand in the Rain

Driving: Cake – The Distance (how fitting for driving)

Flashback: Smashing Pumpkins – Girl Named Sandoz

she was hot – but the snow lay on the ground

Getting Back Together: Portishead – Toy Box

Wedding: Jack Johnson – Better Together

Paying the Dues: Portishead – Lot More

The Night Before The War: Primitive Radio Gods – Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth

I’ve been down hearted baby – every since the day we met.

Final Battle: Natalie Imbruglia – Leave Me

Moment of Triumph: Candlebox – Blossom (beautiful song)

Death Scene: Goo Goo Dolls – Slide

Funeral Song: Billy Squire – Everybody Wants You

End Credits: Nirvana – Pennyroyal Tea

Contrary to popular belief, we want to get you off the phone as quickly as you want to get off the phone.  So let’s just make nice so you can get off the phone in a timely manner.  I don’t want to hear your life story…particularly when you’re drunk.  Today’s example:

A woman called in to discuss a charge on her statement.  Everryyyyyyy wooorrrdddddd wassssss drawwnn ouuuuttttt juuusssttt likeeeee thissssss.  Yeah – your skin is crawling now, huh?

Then she informs me that we sent her three copies of the same statement and what were we, as a company, going to do about the crying trees.

Then I got to hear about how everyone who needs any sort of prescription needed to fill it by December.  Then I got to hear about her Avon.  Then I got to hear about how she believes it is her voice that is behind the “the number you have dialed has been disconnected” message.  Bell South stole her voice.

The woman was lit up.  I really don’t think she was a total nut job…I honestly think I smelled booze through the phone.  So keep your drunk dialing limited to ex significant others or booty calls.  We don’t get paid enough to really care (though we are really glad our job wasn’t outsourced – because nothing is funnier than a call center FEMALE in Mumbai telling me her name is David).

I had one lady call and argue with me that she wasn’t calling Chase bank…she was convinced she was calling Citibank.  I really wanted to say, “Lady – I think I know where I work.”  Alas, I couldn’t say that.  It was hard to bite my tongue.

Another call was from Macy’s.  An old lady wanted to talk to her credit card company.  I thought they just called to help her out.  Turns out she wanted to argue that her Slate card was not a Chase card (when it is) and then argued with me that it was a visa card and that visa is a stand alone bank.  She argued with me for a good 10 minutes before getting frustrated and hanging up on me.

Got my Kindle 3 today.  I am officially in love with an inanimate object.

Oh – and the messenger bag I’m working on at work is about half way done.  I am practically paid to crochet.

Thursday is my ultra sound.  It’s preventative.  The doctor and I are positive it’s nerve damage.  I am responding well to treatment with the lidocaine skin patch and the occasional Ultram.  They just want to make sure that my one ovary is hanging in there.  I do not look forward to drinking 40 ounces of water.  I have a tiny bladder.  That’s going to be murder.

I also finished a viking hat but the horns didn’t really turn out all that well so I scrapped it.

Some of these are in jest and some of them are serious.

1. Must be financially secure. I’m not necessarily looking for someone to take care of me, but I’m getting too old for broke people.

2. Can’t have his head up his ass.  Must know what he wants and how to get it.

3. Must be kind.

4. Must be moderately attractive. Let’s face it – personality is a lot in a relationship, but you still need to be attracted to the person.

5. (Special request) Must not try to parent MY kids.  Mine.  I gave birth to them so I’m the only person who gets to nag them to death.

6. Not counting children (duh)….must put ME first.  See – that’s what happens when you get put last all the time.  It makes you selfish.

7. I’m the princess and that’s that.

8. Must like reading….and maybe even writing.

And I’m sure I’ll add to the list.

nagnagnagnagnag

G’night!